Saturday, 2 February 2008

how far is too far?

there's a light at the end of the tunnel with the kitchen saga.

it's a pretty dim light, but I'm hopeful.

in theory someone is coming next friday to plaster the walls, and then the following week (half term no less but I didn't dare say no in case they then didn't come till April) they'll rip out the few remaining cupboards and put the new ones in.

and the new cooker, which we haven't chosen yet...

and the tiles - as above.....

so then we'll have a lovely kitchen, without lumps of plaster falling off the walls, and piles of plates on the floor etc etc.


last year J got a new job, it's a great job, it's a permanent contract - hard to come by in his field of work at the moment, and a promotion.

and it's 100 miles away.

so every day he leaves the house at 6.15am and comes home at 7.30pm completely exhausted, last week he worked out that every month he travels the equivalent of from Yorkshire to Chicago, and the travel costs are quite high.

so it would make sense to move nearer..............

also on the plus side we could move to somewhere with a better secondary school (11-18 years), the local one here is not great, and maybe get a house with a bigger garden, for vegetables, and even chickens.

on the negative side, all my friends and family live near here, E doesn't understand at all - he's only 7, Miss K is very positive in general about the idea of moving (probably wants a house with a bigger bedroom!) but I think when she realises that we'll be a long way from Grandma and Grandpa, and her cousin, and she'll have to go to a new school where she doesn't know anyone one she might change her mind, and last time we moved house was so stressfull I can't bear to think about it, but there was at least one sobbing in the bank incident - not pretty....

I know lots of families deal with long commutes, and for anyone living in London, or other big cities it can take hours to travel even short distances, and lots of people move to be nearer work in fact when we first got married we moved 3000 miles to a new job (but we didn't have the children to consider then), but I'm finding it really hard to get my head round this.

at least when we didn't have a kitchen we couldn't even consider selling the house..


  1. Oh Tess that's a tough one. I think your children will adjust at this age though - it's more about how long your husband can keep up the commute. I know that my husband could only do that kind of journey in the short term. I spent a life time moving with a Dad in the RAF and I think it only got tough to move once we were in our teens. I have to say that it's resulted in me being an itchy feet kind of girl, so my gut reaction would be to say "go for it!", it might turn out to be better than the life you already have!

  2. Children are marvellous at adapting to change, so try not to let that cloud any decisions you make.
    Good luck...

  3. Hi there. Linked here through Pink Purl's site. I like your blog!

    Wow, that is a long commute every day! Good luck on the decision on whether to move or not, and on getting your kitchen done!

  4. That's good news about your kitchen progressing Tess.. What a tricky one though.. I can't really say either way, but just don't rush your decision ~ I'm sure the right answer will come to you.. Good luck with it all.. Gx

  5. This is a tricky one and I do feel for you. You are really coping so well with that kitchen!
    Probably if you are going to move then this is the time before your children get immersed in GCSE's and secondary schooling etc.
    The long commute is no fun for any of the family. I really hope you will be able to think about this clearly and find a peace in the decision together.

  6. Wow, that is one heck of a commute. I feel for you - that would be a very tough decision. Have you "met" Simmy at Echoes of a Dream? She and her family are about to up sticks for similar reasons ...

  7. My husband has a similar commute but his is by train which is less stressful than driving.

    There are so many factors to consider when you are trying to decide about relocation that it is worth writing them down as pros and cons. It helps to clarify the mind. Good luck!

  8. Good luck with trying to figure out the best solution. I find the making decision stage the hardest – and yours has so many pros and cons to consider.

    (BTW I love your blog)

  9. I agree with Lina--the children are still young and will adjust. Your husband shouldn't have to commute that far every day into the future with no end in sight. It will be an adventure.

  10. Such a lot to consider and decide on. I hope you'll find a good solution for you and your family. The thought of a big move is very daunting, but moves can be a good thing. It's just getting over that big hurdle and settled again...Great news abour your kitchen though! Good for resale value ;o) Happy Day ((HUGS))

  11. Just when you though the end was in sight! What a conundrum! So difficult to decide, I know how hard it is to leave a home you love and family living nearby and I also know how easy it can be for children to settle in to new schools. It would be great to be able to spend more time with hubby though wouldn't it?
    (that doesn't help at all does it, sorry I'm not very good at giving advice!). Good luck with it all.

  12. Ooh blimey that's a dilemma and a half! I hope the answer becomes clear to you as to what is the best thing to do. I suppose you could always move back if things don't work out in a new place. It can't be any fun having to do so much driving every day. I can sympathise with you as Mr P goes out at 7am (sometimes 5am) and often doesn't come back til 7pm but he's just a workaholic and has no excuse!! I wish he would come home earlier.

  13. That is a long commute! Sounds like a really tough decision. I hope things become a little clearer for you soon.


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